I’m not saying midnight, I’m saying mid night, because it’s way past midnight. But I can’t sleep. And I’m not plagued by nightmares or scary things at all. I can’t sleep because I have memories that are just too precious and wonderful not to mention.
My first was such a wonderful thing, and would sit wherever I put her, not wiggle around, not fall over, just sit and look around her, with wonder and delight in her tiny face! If close to something, like a vase with flowers, she would reach out her tiny hand and touch it, so gently, as though to sense it’s beauty and her expression was as though she absorbed it.
I almost lost her once. Colic drops caused her to choke. Ignorant and unknowing mother that I was, either instinct or God took over in that instance, and I grabbed her by the feet, and held her upside down, patting strongly on her back. I’d say it was God telling this dumb inexperienced mom what to do, because those drops came shooting out, and she screamed.
I cried. I have no idea why God was with me that day, because I hadn’t given Him a thought in years, and yet I know now, He was there for us both that day. Words cannot begin to express how something like that can make you feel. There’s no way to describe many of the events of simple motherhood that I’ve experienced.
Sometimes, the memories I have of them beginning to walk, run, read, sing, put their arms around my neck and call me “Mom” are so overwhelming, I realize that that is what makes me happy, and that is why I still love this old guy who provided for us throughout it all, who must have been sent by God. How else could it have happened? There really is a loving God for whom I am so very grateful everyday for the love and experiences I’ve had.
And grandma, now that’s too sweet to even begin to describe.