Fighting battles, carrying on arguments was never my forte. I spent my childhood quietly listening, because I was sure if I opened my mouth in a heated discussion I would say something wrong. I always know when I’ve said something wrong, and tend to run it through my head for days, kicking myself.
Yet the experiences I’ve had with Fidonet and also later on the internet, in forums, and facebook, I have learned that some of the best arguments are merely questions. Properly done, a well worded question will cause someone to think. They tend to stop their usual platitudes or ad hominins and think.
That is my goal. I have no desire to dictate to anyone what to think. But, making them do that difficult task is a worthy goal. If someone adamantly does not agree with some ethic or high purpose, just telling them they are wrong, or stupid, or whatever will have no effect that you would want.
However, a well aimed question, guided by repeating some useful fact, and asking their thoughts on that may achieve that goal.
Make them think. Make them look at their motivations, their intentions, etc., in the light of a set of facts different from those they visualize themselves.
Well, sometimes it works. Sometimes you lose friends. Thinking is hard, and most folks avoid that like the plague. But, it’s worth a try if you know they need to reevaluate.
My mom always said you do no one a favor by allowing them to believe you agree with their bad decisions.